"what is the hardest part of being social?"

This is just another post of mine I'd been meaning to retrieve
From another forum thread, this one entitled
"what is the hardest part of being social?"

(start Forum Post)
When being around other people and being social I have three catatgories:

The first catagory is a list of things not to do that might hurt myself or others. This is the first and most important catagory that has to be kept when being social, it is absolutey important that this catagory of rules be followed at all times if I have to let go of getting things done in the second catagory to keep this one then I will. I rarely ever don't get this whole list kept. This is the most important one and I am very clear on what is on this list. Fortunately this is the smallest catagory too.
A few examples from this list:
no banging biting hairpulling
(this could be called the Very Obvious List, its a very clear one.)

The second catagory is a list of things that are not hurtful but also not to do because others can get very upset if you do them. This is a larger catagory and it sometimes still has to be updated and added to. Keeping to this list is harder than the first and I can't always keep all of these as well as the first catogory but I think I do most of it most of the time.
a few examples from this list:
no screaming picking scratching (screaming is Very Obvious but it goes on this list instead of the one above because it doesn't hurt others. More of these are Fairly Obvioius but not all of them.)

The third catagory is much harder and I never do get all of this list or anywhere near it because it is this impossible huge and always growing catagory. Also because my priorities are for the first two lists.
This is the Subtle Infinite List that is also not mostly consisting of don't it has quite a few do's, things that it is necessary to recall to act on and do. Timing for many of these is also very difficult to me. I do them too early or the other person is where they can't see when I start to do them too late.
a few examples from this list:
don't make faces, start then keep looking at a person's face when they are looking and talking until they are done, make a smile, don't fidget (the whole little stims don't do subcatagory goes here), etc to infinity.
This list contains more the Subtle and Less Obvious and I don't like to think about this list. Its hard to think about it sitting here in my apartment. I can think about it a little more when I am having to be social at that time.

To me being social is like driving a car (which I also can't do but at least nobody gets killed if you can't drive a conversation). There are completely too many things to try to keep track of and its exactly like looking ahead at the road ahead and trying to watch the spedomoter then look at the mirror on the side, pay attention to how much you are pressing on the gas look at the spedometer agian notice how far other cars are from uyou and if you are in the right place in your own lane and is there a turn and how far to start stopping and put the signal on and then you're not looking at the mirror or this other mirror and I can't even explain it there is just way too much going on trying to drive a car that I cannot possibly do all at once even if I had 16 eyes on my head I could not I cannnot coordinate all of that and being social and having a conversation with 99% of people (and ohboy if there is more than one of them at a time too) is just like that to me.

I prefer to be alone or to only go outside with my friend John (for other reasons besides social also) and sometimes for short things about greetings and so forth in some places I copy him because he is much better at these things and people seem to like him.

Droopy
(End Forum Post)