Trying to sort things

Okay, I'm trying to sort things.

I'll try to sort and list what I have in mind:

I guess so far this blog, my Safe Space will be reserved for just talking, diary things, should in fact be my safe space, if that's still at all possible like it once was.

This wil be the place where maybe I can come and say something about the more current past, as in the recent week or the very day I am writing on, can say things like

"I am really all peopled out today" or things like that, that'd be here.


The Orignal I think is where I hope to start sorting my history, my stuff for the book about myself that has to be written.
Alot of that sort of stuff is here to start with, but of course I had no idea and no way of knowing the events that would take place and stuff I'd become aware of etc., making my teenytiny little background startup (and then a few frustrated driven attempts at more of my history) here in my safe space necessary, or so ineffective,so hopefully having a space just for the other will work.

I also have another one called 'Ugly Stuff" and I really don't know if I am going to keep that one or what.. its all part of my history and definately some of that has 'shaped me' or whatever it is that I have been getting instruction in terms of what needs to go into a biography, but its stuff I don't talk about, bad stuff.
I just dont' know what to do there about that stuff or how to deal with it and that section just for bad stuff may end up going away. I jumped right in with typing some of the worst of it, its been rolling around in my mind when I think of trying to write about institutions, places I have been, the differences between them, staff in them etc. I will have to expose and admit just how disabled I really am to do this and that's hard too, as hard as admitting some of the realy bad stuff that happened.
I have a few core beliefs about things including 'don't hang a target on your back' and people who make a fuss about how 'angry' I seem don't have a clue what's propelling tht 'anger' or what that's all about and I'm not real eager to show my vulnerabilities in a world where I've learned that's a very, very, bad thing to do.
Maybe I can figure something out.

I have one just to keep my call for help up at its top. Addressing The problem has its own section now, hoping people can see and go right to that then.


For now
I really am all people/cerebralled out
(too much reading emails, reading websites, auditory playback in my mind of what people have said even can do this even when I've actually been entirely alone awhile)
I really do need to sit quietly and hold my toys
$1.06 of happiness = 5 little 'hotwheel sized' cars all for one dollar
(plus state sales tax.)